Planless

A-Minus: 2 Weeks

So what are my plans?

Don’t ask. I’ve been asked that question at least 20 times in the last week.

It’s odd because the last four years have seen me lying awake in my bed many nights hashing out some sort of plan of action. A year ago, I could have told you exactly what I was planning on doing. I knew when I wanted to land, which absorption center would absorb me, which ulpan would teach me Hebrew, at which yeshivah I would learn Torah, how I would make ends meet, and how I would hit the dating scene. But one by one, reality has blasted away my plans, and now I’m left with nothing.

It’s just difficult not knowing. The biggest factor is my job. I have no idea if they will accept my telecommuting proposal or not, which means that I don’t know if I will be able to reach some sort of financial self-sufficiency, or whether I will be in a race against the clock as I devour my savings. I’m planning on staying with some family in Jerusalem, but with the war against Lebanon appearing to be much longer-term than previously believed, and internal refugees finding shelter with relatives, I don’t want to be pushing others aside. I don’t know how long I’ll be welcome as a moocher. And who knows how badly this war will affect the economy? It is difficult to gauge my level of Hebrew while immersed in English, so I don’t know which ulpan I will need. Or if I will even need an ulpan.

I have therefore decided to “wing it.” I know that Nefesh B’Nefesh says that a successful aliyah is a planned aliyah, but I just can’t plan any further ahead than I am right now without actually being there. And so I proceed into the dark!