Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I Just Can't Get A Date

I'm used to them tearing down my door. So what gives? Why can't I get a measly shidduch here?

I ended the last one about a month ago. On the same day, I got a call from Moish saying that this girl who had been on-again-off-again about going out with me was on again. I had never met her, but her parents came over for dinner one time when I was over and we had a great time. Little did I know, but much did I suspect from the tone of the conversation, that they were mining me for information to see if I would be appropriate for their daughter. Well, they liked me, but the daughter, whom I never met, wasn't interested. Over time her parents worked on her and she became interested. Then she changed her mind and wasn't interested at all. Finally, she decided she was interested in meeting me, not on a date, but in a neutral setting. You know, Moish, his wife and daughter Dinah, and Rivkah, plus the girl's parents, her younger brother, and herself at a pasta cook-off. It was sort of like when Michael Corleone was dating that native Italian girl in the first Godfather movie, but I got to see even less of her. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I figured I had nothing to lose. Of course, I didn't lose anything, but she didn't want to go out with me, so I didn't gain anything. Still, the Godfather is one of my all-time favorites, and I got to play Al Pachino. The girl gets blown up later in the movie anyway, so it would have been a wash even if things had worked out.

(Speaking with the father of the girl he plans to marry, and after telling him that he's in hiding from some gangsters)
Michael Corleone: "Some people will pay a lot of money for that information, but then your daughter would lose a father, instead of gaining a husband."


Next, met a couple of fantastic girls while at a Shabbat table with a friend of mine. One of them was already spoken for, and our host was trying to set my friend up with the other. Of course, my friend was already seeing someone else at the time, but our host was very insistent, and had already told the parents and the girl that my friend was coming over, so we all had to be very polite and play out our respective rolls. Him trying to be polite but standoffish, me kinda peeking over at this girl out of the corner of my eye but holding back. A week later, my friend asked me if he wants me to ask about the girl for me. I jumped at the opportunity, but I got a barrage of wiggle-outs.
"She wants to live on a farm."
"So do I."
"No, but she wants to do serious farming."
"Fine by me."
"Uh.. she's going to India for two months. Maybe when she gets back."

I suspect I may have offended my host over the course of the visit. That's what you get for being a neocon at a hippie village and opening your mouth.

If the direct approach didn't work, I decided, why not try the Internet. The site is Saw You at Sinai, the cutesy name being rooted in the idea being that, since every Jewish soul today is believed to be a reincarnation of the 600,000 Jewish souls who were at Mount Sinai when the Torah was given, then for sure both you and your shidduch were there at the same time. My cousin Randy just got engaged to a girl he met on the net, so I decided to give it a shot as well (his picture is still at the top of the page, www.sawyouatsinai.com, as one of their successful matches.) The difference bewteen sawyouatsinai and the other sites is that, while you do post a profile, you do not do your own searches. You select a Shadchanit (matchmaker) from a list, and then she matches you up with potentials. Well, I posted my profile, and within a day I had three recommended matches. Great! I approved the first one. Then waited a day for her reply. Then another day. And another day. Finally, I got the idea and approved the second one. She responded promptly with a rejection. I was getting the idea that this wouldn't be so easy, so I called a friend/shadchanit down in Be'er Sheva, who began searching and found someone appropriate. Eureka! But then she became very difficult to get a hold of. So I waited a day or so.

Meanwhile, I went back to sawyouatsinai and approved the third offer. Approved! At last, a phone number in hand! I called the same day.

"Oh, yeah, I know I said yes, but I'm leaving the country now and won't be back until Yom Kippur." Two months. Ugh.

So I returned to the site and saw I had three more offers. I accepted them all. Figure I'm getting pretty desperate at this point. It's been four days with no response from any of them.

Finally my friend in Be'er Sheva told me that the girl she was looking for was, in fact, dating someone, but she had another recommendation. As of tonight, I've got a name. A real name! With a phone number too! So, tomorrow I'll be making a phonecall, and we'll take it from there.

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